Evangelical Resources on Courtship and Marriage

Introduction

American culture has changed dramatically in the 20th century, and one area of significant change that is particularly pronounced is the shift from mate selection by courtship to the new paradigm of dating. Although the new system of dating has only been in place during the latter half of the century, it has so effectivly replaced the old system that very few people of either the Baby Boomers, Generation X, or beyond are familiar with how the courtship model operated. The traditional ways are receiving much attention, however, as the fundamental flaws of the new system are being discovered painfully by those under it in the new generation.

The goal of this page is to share resources on the topic of courtship. There are several key areas to focus on: How the traditional model operated under ideal conditions, What changes occurred within the culture to neccessitate the dating system, How these changes have impacted culture, What contemporary changes are occurring with the system in the early 21st century, and How to recover what has been lost and remain relevant. College students are particularly interested in these developments as most are painfully aware by experience of the current problems with the dating system (having been through multiple cycles of coupling and breakup), and are often the most enthusiastic of reforming or replacing the dating culture.

If you have comments, issues, or concerns, please email me directly: michaelh@ductape.net

Articles

Kass, Leon. "The End of Courtship"
The Public Interest, Winter 1997.
[ http://www.thepublicinterest.com/notable/article7.html ]
Kass, Leon and Amy. "Proposing Courtship"
First Things, October 1999.
[ http://www.firstthings.com/ftissues/ft9910/articles/kass.html ]
Kass, Amy. "A Case for Courtship"
[ http://www.americanvalues.org/html/k-a_case_for_courtship.html ]

"I suspect many of you are right now saying to yourselves, "Courtship? How quaint! She must either be blind to present day reality or afflicted with terminal nostalgia even to use such a term, let alone make a case for its practice." I confess to mild nostalgia, but I deny the charge of ignorance. On the contrary, my interest in courtship is spurred by a keen - and painful - awareness of the way things now are, especially regarding the sexual practices and reigning opinions of young men and women. About these matters, I have been sobered and educated by more than 25 years of teaching and conversing with young collegians."
Whitehead, Barbara Dafoe. "How We Mate"
City Journal, Summer 1999.
[ http://www.city-journal.org/html/9_3_how_we_mate.html ]
Gallagher, Maggie. "Why Marriage Is Good for You"
City Journal, Vol. 10, No. 4, Autumn 2000.
[ http://www.city-journal.org/html/10_4_why_marriage_is.html ]

Audio Tapes

Leon and Amy Kass. "Wandering Toward the Altar: The Decline of American Courtship"
Available through Mars Hill Audio
[ http://www.marshillaudio.org/catalog/reports.shtml ]

"Much public attention is given to the decline of marriage and the family in America, but few have thought to relate this decline to the changing ways in which Americans understand and practice courtship. The cultural wisdom and conventions that once guided young men and women in their efforts to find and win suitable partners for marriage are vanishing. Modesty and sexual restraint are ridiculed, while previously stigmatized behaviors such as casual sexual "hook-ups" and premarital cohabitation have become commonplace.
"Wandering Toward the Altar explores the broader cultural changes behind the end of traditional American courtship, including the rise of youth culture and dating, the demise of the productive family household, careerism and the later age of first marriage, the replacement of romantic imagination with youthful cynicism about love and marriage, and the exclusion of home and family from the practices of courting. This four and one-half hour program (on three audio cassettes) features studio interviews with Leon and Amy Kass, Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, Wendy Shalit, Allan Carlson, Beth Bailey, Steven Nock, Kay Hymowitz, and Douglas Wilson, as well as extensive field reporting."

Books

Bailey, Beth L. "From Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in Twentieth-Century America"
Johns Hopkins University Press, 1989.
ISBN 0801839351
Carlson, Allan. "From Cottage to Work Station : The Family's Search for Social Harmony in the Industrial Age"
Ignatius Press, 1993.
ISBN 0898704294
Harris, Joshua. "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"
Multnomah Books, 1997.
ISBN 1590521358
Hersch, Patricia. "A Tribe Apart: A Journey into the Heart of American Adolescence"
Ballantine Books, 1998.
Hymowitz, Kay S. "Ready or Not: What Happens When We Treat Children As Small Adults"
The Free Press, 1999.
Kass, Leon and Amy. "Wing to Wing, Oar to Oar: Readings on Courting and Marrying (The Ethics of Everyday Life)"
University of Notre Dame Press, 2000.
ISBN 0268019606
Nock, Steven L. "Marriage in Men's Lives"
Oxford University Press, 1998.
Rothman, Ellen K. "Hands and Hearts: A History of Courtship in America"
Harvard University Press, 1987.
Denis De Rougemont, et al. "Love in the Western World"
Princeton University Press, 1983 (first English translation published in 1956 by Pantheon Books).
Shalit, Wendy. "A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue"
Touchstone Books, 2000.
ISBN 0684863170
Whitehead, Barbara Dafoe. "The Divorce Culture"
Alfred A. Knopf, 1997.
Wilson, Douglas. "Her Hand in Marriage: Biblical Courtship in the Modern World"
Canon Press, 1997.
Nelson, Tommy. "The Book of Romance: What Solomon Says About Love, Sex, and Intimacy".
Thomas Nelson, 1998.
ISBN 0785274715

Real Girls

from Daniel Amos's album "Doppelgänger"
Words and Music by Terry Taylor and Jerry Chamberlain
Š1983 Twitchen Vibes/ Paragon Music Corp. ASCAP